Ophelia tells Polonius
how Hamlet importuned her in her chamber in very detail. She describes his clothing,
distance between them, positions of his two hands and her one hand. According to
the description, Ophelia has one free hand while Hamlet importuned her.
Every word of Ophelia’s
description can be well reasoned under the assumption that she masturbated Hamlet
with her free hand. Hamlet’s clothes are off before the masturbation. “He comes
before me” says Hamlet reaches climax in front of Ophelia.
Ophelia collects
Hamlet’s semen and later asks him to marry her with the remembrances he left to her hand.
Hamlet knows she carries Polonius’ child and tells her five times to go to a
nunnery, a place for unwed mothers in Shakespeare’s time.
Dialogue
Polonius. [Act 2, Scene 1]
How
now Ophelia, what’s the matter?
Ophelia.
Alas,
my Lord, I have been so affrighted.
Polonius.
With
what, in the name of Heaven?
Ophelia.
My
Lord, as I was sowing in my Chamber,
Lord
Hamlet with his doublet all
unbraced,
No
hat upon his head, his stockings fouled,
Ungartered,
and down gyved to his Ankle,
Pale
as his shirt, his knees knocking each other,
And
with a look so piteous in purport,
As
if he had been loosed out of hell,
To
speak of horrors: he comes before me.
Polonius.
Mad
for thy Love?
Ophelia.
My
Lord, I do not know: but truly I do fear it.
Polonius.
What
said he?
Ophelia.
He
took me by the wrist,
and held me hard;
Then
goes he to the length of all his arm;
And
with his other hand thus over his brow,
He
falls to such perusal of my face,
As
he would draw
it. Long stayed he so,
At
last, a little shaking
of mine Arm:
And
thrice his
head thus waving up and down;
He
raised a sigh, so piteous and profound,
That
it did seem to shatter all his bulk,
And
end his being.
That done, he lets me go,
And
with his head over his shoulders turned,
He
seemed to find his way without his eyes,
For
out adores he went without their help;
And
to the last, bended their light on me.
Polonius.
Go
with me, I will go seek the King,
This
is the very ecstasy of Love,
Whose
violent property foredoes itself,
And
leads the will to desperate Undertakings,
As
oft as any passion under Heaven,
That
does afflict our Natures. I am sorry,
What,
have you given him any hard words of late?
Ophelia.
No,
my good Lord: but as you did command,
I
did repel his Letters,
and denied
His
access to me.
Notes
*I was sowing in my Chamber: This scene is
set to a gallery in the 1603 folio: “He found me walking in the gallery all
alone.” Chamber is more private and suitable for this scene.
*Lord Hamlet with his doublet all unbraced, No hat
upon his head, his stockings fouled, ungartered, and down gyved to his Ankle:
Hamlet unclothes himself just enough to fit his act to importune Ophelia.
*As if he had been loosed out of hell: The ghost of
old King Hamlet that possesses young Hamlet’s body is just loosed out of hell.
*To speak of horrors: he comes before me: Come
has the usage of climax. Hamlet reaches climax in front of Ophelia.
*took me by the wrist: Positions of
their three hands are specified. Ophelia has one hand free.
*the length of all his arm: They have an
arm’s space for Ophelia to move her free hand between their bodies.
*he would draw it: Draw
has the usage of to paint, extract, or pull. It’s Hamlet’s fantasy to have oral
sex and to paint Ophelia’s face with his semen.
*At last, a little shaking of mine Arm:
Ophelia feels Hamlet’s penis shaking a little as Hamlet reaches climax; or Ophelia
shakes her arm to make Hamlet come.
*his head waving up and down:
Head here indicates both Hamlet’s head and his penis head. Waving up and down of
his head and penis is caused by ejaculation.
*a sigh, so piteous and profound: a sigh of intense
relief after climax, which is pathetic by Ophelia’s hand.
*shatter all his bulk: to ejaculate;
bulk indicates a load of semen.
*end his being: to reach
climax as dying. This scene shows
that Hamlet is unrelated to Ophelia’s pregnancy.
*I did repel his Letters, and denied his access
to me: Ophelia repels
Hamlet’s written letters, so the letter Polonius reads to Claudius and Gertrude
cannot be from Hamlet.
Let has the usage of to shed liquid like blood or tear;
letters may allude to semen. The line “denied his access to me” could mean
Ophelia denies Hamlet entering her body in this
scene.
1603 Quarto
In the 1603
quarto, this scene is set in a gallery. Hamlet uses only one hand to grasp
Ophelia’s wrist. Unlike the 1623 folio, both have one hand free. Polonius and
Ophelia are named Corambis and Ofelia in the 1603 quarto.
Corambis.
What
what’s the matter my Ofelia?
Ofelia.
O
yong Prince Hamlet, the only floure of Denmark,
Hee
is bereft of all the wealth he had,
The
Iewell that ador’nd his feature most
Is
filcht and stolne away, his wit’s bereft him,
Hee
found mee walking in
the gallery all alone,
There comes hee to mee,
with a distracted looke,
His
garters lagging downe, his shooes vntide,
And
fixt his eyes so stedfast on my face,
As
if they had vow’d,
this is their latest obiect.
Small
while he stoode, but gripes
me by the wrist,
And
there he holdes my pulse till with a sigh
He
doth vnclaspe his holde, and parts away
Silent,
as is the mid time of the night:
And
as he went, his eie was still on mee,
For
thus his head ouer his shoulder looked,
He
seemed to finde the way without his eies:
For
out of doores he went without their helpe,
And
so did leaue me.
The Choosing of Valentines
This
316-line poem by Thomas Nashe details a man called Tomalin whose experience
with a prostitute Francis (as in the manuscript). At the beginning Tomalin
cannot erect (“dead he lies . . . “wilt not stand”) and she masturbates him
with her hand. He quits too soon and fails to safisfy Frnacis. She masturbates
herself with a dildo.
The
poem corresponds to some hidden scenes in Shakespeare’s plays, such as
masturbation by hand and by mouth, personification of penis, and climax as
death.
I
kiss, I clap, I feel, I view at will,
Yet
dead he lies, not thinking good or ill.
“Unhappy
me,” quoth she, “and wilt’ not stand?
Come,
let me rub and chafe it with my hand!” [132]
After
Tomalin’s penis being raised, it acts like a wood to rub and prick and pierce
her high and low.
She
dandled it, and danced it up and down,
Not
ceasing till she raised it from his swoon.
And
then he flew on her as he were wood,
And
on her breech did hack and foyne a-good; [144]
He
rub’d, and pricked, and pierced her to the bones,
Digging
as far as eath he might for stones;
Now
high, now low, now striking short and thick;
Now
diving deep, he touched her to the quick; [148]
However,
he quits too soon, so she uses a dildo to satisfy herself.
“Oh
not so fast,” my ravished Mistress cries,
“Least
my content, that on thy life relies, [180]
.
. .
“My
little dilldo
shall supply their kind:
A
knave, that moves as light as leaves by wind;
That
bendeth not, nor fouldeth any deal,
But
stands as stiff as he were made of steel; [240]
Dilldo
can be a wordplay of dill-do or dill-doe. Dill has the usage of to
soothe or assuage; doe of a female animal. Dilldo is an instrument to
assuage a female. The word dildo appears in Shakespeare’s Winter’s Tale:
Servant.
He
hath songs for man, or woman, of all sizes: No Milliner can so fit his
customers with Gloves: he has the prettiest Love-songs for Maids, so without
bawdry (which is strange,) with such delicate burthens of Dildos and Fadings: Jump-her, and thump-her;