Maria fakes a letter of her
mistress Countess Olivia with “M.O.A.I. does sway my life” to trick Malvolio,
who misconceives that it’s Olivia’s love letter to him.
In Twelfth Night, letter M,O,A,I, are triple
played with shape, sound, and anagram. The whole scene is about how to solve these
four letters. Key of the riddle is to identify how they are printed in the
manuscript, M.O.A.I. three times and M,O,A,I. once. The audience cannot know
the difference.
M.O.A.I. with dots appears three times.
C’s, U’s, T’s, P’s
Shakespeare selected letter C, U, T, P, to
let Malvolio affirm the handwriting of Countess Olivia, and used these letters
to seal her certain features to match the M.O.A.I. riddle. C’s, U’s, T’s, P’s are
sound plays to show a lady’s bawdy art: C’s as seize (to seize penis by vagina
or hand),
U’s as juice or youth (aliveness, vigor), T’s as tits (sharp sudden pulls, jerks),
and P’s as piece (genital organ or piss).
Dialogue
[Malvolio finds a fake letter by the chambermaid Maria.]
Malvolio.
What employment have we here?
Fabian. [aside]
Now is the Woodcock near the gin.
Toby. [aside]
Oh, peace,
and the spirit of humors intimate reading aloud
to him.
Malvolio.
By my life this is my Lady’s hand: these be her very C’s, her U’s, and her T’s, and thus
makes she her great P’s. It is in
contempt of question her hand.
Andrew. [aside]
Her C’s, her U’s, and her T’s:
why that?
Malvolio.
To the unknown beloved, this, and my
good Wishes:
Her very Phrases: By your leave wax. Soft,
and the impressure her Lucrece, with which she uses to seal: ’tis my
Lady: To whom should this be?
Fabian. [aside]
This wins him, Liver and all.
Malvolio.
Jove knows I love, but who, Lips do not
move, no man must know.
No man must know. What follows?
The numbers altered: No man must know,
If this should be thee Malvolio?
Toby. [aside]
Marry, hang thee brock.
Malvolio. [reads]
I may command where I adore, but silence like a Lucrece knife: With bloodless stroke my heart does gore, M.O.A.I. does sway my life.
Fabian. [aside]
A fustian
riddle.
Toby. [aside]
Excellent Wench, say I.
Malvolio.
M.O.A.I.
does sway my life.
Nay, but first let me see, let me see, let me see.
Fabian. [aside]
What dish a poison has she dressed him?
Toby. [aside]
And with what wing the stallion checks at it?
Malvolio.
I may command, where I adore: Why, she
may command me:
I serve her, she is my Lady. Why, this is evident
to any formal capacity. There is no obstruction
in this, and the end: What should that Alphabetical
position portend, if I could make that resemble
something in me? Softly, M.O.A.I.
Toby. [aside]
O I, make up that, he is now at a cold scent.
Fabian. [aside]
Sowter
will cry upon it for all this, though it be as rank as a Fox.
Malvolio.
M. Malvolio,
M. why that begins my name.
Fabian. [aside]
Did not I say he would work it out, the Cur
is excellent at faults.
Malvolio.
M.
But then there is no consonancy in the sequel that suffers under probation: A.
should follow, but O. does.
Fabian. [aside]
And O shall end, I hope.
Toby. [aside]
I, or I’ll cudgel him, and make him cry O.
Malvolio.
And then I. comes behind.
Fabian. [aside]
I, and you had any eye behind you, you might see more detraction at
your heels, than Fortunes before you.
Malvolio.
M,O,A,I.
This simulation is not as the former: and
yet to crush this a little, it would bow
to me, for every one of these Letters are in my
name. Soft, here follows prose: If this fall into thy hand, revolve.
Notes
*the Woodcock near the gin: Woodcock
has the usage of an easy-capture bird, or a fool to be trapped; cock of
penis; wood of mad, lunatic, or wild passion. Woodcock, wood, and cock
can match Malvolio’s reactions in this scene. Gin has the usage of a
cunning device, snare, trap, or a rack for torture.
*peace: a sound play of P’s, piece, or piss; a hint on
“great P’s” in the follow
line.
*humors intimate reading aloud: a hint to solve this
riddle by sound play. Humor has the usage of animal’s body fluid,
a hint on “U’s” as juice; intimate of to imply or suggest.
*Lady’s hand: Hand has the usage of handwriting, skill,
or art; a hint on “C’s” as to seize penis by hand.
*these be her very C’s, her U’s, and her
T’s:
Letter C, U, T can form the word cut, alluding to a lady’s skill in bed
to cut men dying of climax. C’s sounds like seize; U’s like juice
or youth as vigor, or aliveness; T’s like tits as sudden pulls or jerks.
A lady’s lively hand (or vagina) can seize and jerk a man’s penis to make him ejaculate.
*makes she her great P’s: P’s
sounds like piece; piece has the usage of a woman as a sexual object.
The lady’s skillful and lively great piece (juicy vagina) can seize and jerk a
man’s penis.
*It is in contempt of question her hand: Olivia’s
handwriting is faked by Maria. Malvolio reads it and speaks loud as if the
letter were to and from Malvolio himself. Malvolio involuntarily admits that
it’s a contempt to question Maria’s sportive art.
*I may command where I adore: Italic lines
read by Malvolio can be treated as if Malvolio is talking about himself. The
first “I” shapes the penis, the “I” in M.O.A.I., that may command where
Malvolio adores, the “O” in M.O.A.I.
*silence like a Lucrece knife: Silence
has the usage of suppression, or restraint. Suppression of sexual desire is
like a chaste knife to cut Malvolio.
*With bloodless stroke my heart does
gore:
With bloodless stroke on anus, the “O” in M.O.A.I., does incite Malvolio’s heart.
Gore has the usage to butt or pierce with a horn for inciting an animal.
*M.O.A.I. does sway my
life:
M.O.A.I. appears the first time with dots. Sway has the usage of
to rule, control,
or to move against in a hostile manner.
*A fustian riddle: Fustian
has the usage of an inflated language, a hint to treat this riddle in an
inflated way.
Shape
*M.O.A.I. does sway my life: M.O.A.I. appears
the second time with dots.
*let me see: The line repeats three
times as a hint, that readers should “see” the shape of the four letters. M.O.A.I. can shape
buttocks (M), anus (O), penis (I), glans penis (AI), hinted by “that resemble something in me.”
*what wing the stallion checks at it:
Wing has the usage of the organ for flying, or speed fast as flying; stallion
of an uncastrated male horse, a begetter, or a lecherous man. Stallion has no
wing. Toby mocks at Malvolio’s lascivious mind. He has no such organ to check
these letters. Some editions assume stallion is a corrupt form of staniel, a
small hawk, but how that bird can apply to Malvolio is not specified.
*this is evident to any formal capacity:
Formal has the usage of pertaining to form; capacity of a hollow space,
alluding to vagina or anus by form; case has similar usage.
*What should that Alphabetical position
portend: Portend has the usage of to signify or symbolize. It’s
close to potent. Alphabetical position suggests the sequence of buttocks (M),
anus (O), and glans penis (AI) in a man’s body.
*if I could make that resemble something
in me: This line suggests shapes of the four letters resemble certain
organs in Malvolio.
*Softly, M.O.A.I.: M.O.A.I. appears
the third time with dots. Softly has the usage to pronounce slowly and longer,
a hint to solve M.O.A.I. via sound play in following lines.
Sound
*Sowter will cry upon it for all this,
though it be as rank as a Fox: Sout has the usage of to cobble, or patch. Sowter
is an obsolete form of souter, a cobbler, shoemaker, or one who mends. Souter
can be a wordplay of suitor. Pronoun “it” indicates the “cold scent.” Cry
has the usage of to speak out these letters loudly, a hint on sound play; rank of
smelly or scentful; fox of a cunning person or a crafty riddle. Fox
(Maria and her riddle) is related to cur (Malvolio) in the next line.
*the Cur is excellent at faults: Cur has
the usage of an inferior dog, or a contemptible man. Fabian compares Malvolio
who cannot solve this riddle with a cur that cannot trace a scentful fox and
makes various faults.
*suffers under probation: A. should
follow, but O. does: Probation has the usage of a trial or test of one’s moral,
conduct, or ability. Malvolio fails to match the sequence of M.O.A.I., alluding
that he fails the test of consonancy, a pleasing combination of sound and
pleasure in bed. “A. should follow”: M.O.A.I. simulate the sound of a four-stage sex:
M (hmmm) for groaning, O (oh) crying joy, A (eh) reaching ecstasy, I (ay)
relieving.
*O shall end: Fabian curses Malvolio ends in O, the second
stage of M.O.A.I., a premature ejaculation.
*I’ll cudgel him, and make him cry O: Toby will like
to put a cudgel (stick) on Malvolio’s O (anus) and make him cry O.
*I. comes behind: The “I” (penis)
comes behind Malvolio’s body right after Toby’s “cudgel him.” This scene
interlaces monologue of Malvolio with lines of Toby, Fabian, and Andrew.
*I, and you had any eye behind you: Singular form eye
alludes to anus, hinted by the “eye behind” Malvolio’s body, and “I.
comes behind.” This may be inspired by sound play of eye and I, and the
shape of eye.
Anagram
*M,O,A,I. This simulation is not as the
former:
The four letters here are with three commas, not dots as the former.
Using comma is a hint to make them a sentence. M,O,A,I. can build “I am O.”
This could mean “I am nothing” or Malvolio plays the taker role, not the giver.
This perfect anagram is hinted by “not as the former” and “follows prose.”
*This simulation is not as the former: The simulation
of letters here is not as previous simulation of shape and sound. Former
has the usage of one who forms or shapes something. Simulation of anagram is unrelated to shape
and sound.
*crush this a little: Crush
has the usage of to squeeze or raze. Crush the sequence of M,O,A,I, a little
may result “I am O.”
*every one of these Letters are in my
name:
This line tells the principle of one-way or Sidney anagram.